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Self Help Anger Management

Self help anger management becomes necessary when anger has become a way of life - a habit. Anger has become a habit when our default reaction to most situations is a feeling of frustration, resentment, irritation, or a tantrum. Anger has become a habit when it is our usual way of responding to life.

Anger is a powerful emotion that can motivate us and those around us to get things done, it is an effective and efficient tool in the right circumstances. But it is a two sided weapon. Anger can become our master when we only wanted it to be our slave. When anger rules the roost it can damage our health, increase our stress levels, destroy our relationships, derail our career, or even destroy our lives by getting us in trouble with the law.

 

Anger has two sources:

  • frustration
  • hurt
  • Frustration happens when things don't go according to our plans and expectations. We have a preconceived idea of how things should be and of how people should behave and when they don't we get frustrated which can lead to either anger or depression.

    Hurt can come from any direction and comes in many disguises. It too can lead to either depression or anger.

    Anger is the feeling we get when we want to control our world, our circumstances, and our relationships and we can't. So at the deepest level anger is about control.

    Control

    Managing something as unruly as your temper is an exceedingly difficult task. Management means the act of organizing people or things in order to attain a desired goal or outcome. In this case you are leading, guiding, directing, and controlling your self to deal with anger in appropriate ways. In reality you are working to avoid something rather than attain something.

    How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.

    - Marcus Aurelius

    Self help anger management is ultimately about wanting to avoid losing control. Our ideas about control are based on our beliefs. These deeply held beliefs live in the deepest recesses of our mind - our subconscious mind. For those of us who find anger to be the emotional tool we turn to most often, our subconscious has been programmed in one of several ways.

    To start with, we have a genetic predisposition to chose fight before flight. This doesn't mean we have an excuse for our behaviour. "That's just the way I am" doesn't cut it in real life. What it does mean is that we tend to make choices in line with anger instead of in line with running away, avoidance, or depression. If your natural genetic blueprint means that you are predisposed to anger you are still responsible for your actions and behaviour.

    Secondly, being angry is a learned response that was made possible by our primary care givers. Whether by suppressing appropriate anger or modeling inappropriate anger, our primary care givers allowed us to develop into people with an anger management problem. You are in the position of taking things into your own hands now. Blaming primary caregivers for your current state is a cop-out. It's time for you to be responsible and deal with the cards you've been given.

    Third and last is our perceptions. Perceived slights, injustices have been stored in our memory banks over a lifetime. These memories serve as guide posts for reacting to current situations with what we learned in the past. It is time to learn new responses and new methods of dealing with the difficult things in life.

    The best way to deal with self help anger management is to avoid anger altogether.

    Self Help Alternatives to Anger Management

    It seems like a simplistic and even flippant statement to say that the best self help anger management method is to avoid anger. However, it's true. Which is easier - to ride a wild out of control bucking bronco, or to take the bus? It is our subconscious mind that determines which path we take. So the shortest route to self help anger management is through the subconscious.

    It is a fool's game to allow the mistaken and faulty beliefs programmed into your subconscious during your child development years to be the master of your ship, to determine your outcomes, to run your life on auto-pilot. You can reprogram your mind. You can change the way your subconscious operates. You can change the way you think.

    How to Program the Subconscious Mind

    In order to program your subconscious mind you need to understand how to communicate with it. Be encouraged reprogramming your subconscious mind isn't rocket science, it isn't difficult and best of all it doesn't take a huge amount of will power. All it takes is a little knowledge and then persistence a bit of determination and desire to use self help anger management to get life where you want it. You are going to find that knowledge right here. The persistence is something you will have to provide and will be in direct proportion to your desire to change.

    The subconscious mind exists as a great pile of neural pathways in your brain. There is a lot of scientific information about how neural pathways work and how they are created but for the purposes of self help anger management the simplest description will work. The neural networks in your mind are created by repetition. Have you ever caught yourself talking to yourself only to realize that you sound just like your primary care giver? Mom? Dad? That's because those words you just repeated to yourself were repeated by others to you early in life. Over and over and over you heard the same message. And now it has literally become part of you.

    When you reprogram your mind you literally change your mind! Your neural pathways physically change. But as you can imagine that isn't going to happen overnight. It can happen quickly but it is going to take a bit of time. So how exactly does one change or program one's mind? It is done in exactly the same way it was done to begin with: by using repetition.

    Your subconscious was programmed with words. It can be reprogrammed with words. It took time to create those initial beliefs and neural pathways and it's going to take a bit of time to reprogram those b

    Reprogram

    Self help anger management is done with affirmations. Affirmations are the statements that were made to you as a child and the statements that you make to yourself in your mental chatter. Changing these statements and repeating them incessantly will cause your subconscious to adopt them and incorporate them into your emotional life. The way to deal with anger issues is to change your response to life's challenges, the way to change your response is by programming your mind the way to program your mind is with affirmations.

    The way to supercharge your affirmations is with brainwave entrainment. Take a look at our catalog to see the programs we currently have available to help you with your self help program.

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