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How To Build Self Esteem

When you want to know how to build self esteem it is useful to know and understand how self esteem gets lowered. When we are aware of how our self esteem gets trashed we can take steps to prevent it. We can prepare before hand and be ready for whatever comes our way that would turn our self esteem into dust. Increasing your level of self esteem means that you are going to face your fear, put your failures behind you, develop some assertiveness skills, and reward yourself when you achieve something worthwhile. In short you're going to learn how to love life - and live well!

Before we take a look at what commonly destroys our self esteem it would be wise to step back and take a look at the larger picture. The need to build self esteem may be caused by depression. Depression and low self esteem are often closely linked. Trying to build self esteem while you remain depressed will be like running on a treadmill - you're going to go no where.

Ok, here's how your self esteem gets smashed into a pulp:

 

How to Build Self Esteem in the Face of "The Negatives"

Negative Environment

Your negative environment could be your home, your school, your work place or where ever you spend a significant amount of time. Negative environments are self perpetuating. In a negative environment there will be no trace of gratitude, no compliments, no recognition of a job well done. No matter how hard you try no matter how much effort you put in, it will be overlooked. Competition in this type of environment is unhealthy and cut-throat. It is ok to be competitive but not at the expense of having your self esteem destroyed.

Negative People

Negative people are emotionally and mentally toxic. They come in all shapes and sizes and they can be as close to you as a spouse, parents, siblings, friends, teachers, bosses. These people can be described in very unpleasant terms: back stabbers, whiners, slackers, brown nosers, bullies, the walking wounded, needy, psychic vampires. You get the idea. Coming in contact with this sort of person on a regular basis will wear down your self esteem like a sugar cube under a tap. These people will create a negative energy that will sap you and drain you of your motivation to improve and grow.

Negative Outlook

Unfortunately, you may be a negative person. Consider what you think about the most. Do you focus on and see the negative in every situation? Do you see the faults of all the people around you? All this adds up to a negative outlook. If the bulk of what you think and say is negative you have succumbed and become a toxic individual. There are things you can do, there is hope but as long as you retain this mental condition your self esteem cannot help but be low.

Change

Just when you think you have things sorted out and you have a handle on life the universe and everything - it changes. When change happens the map that you use to navigate the paths of life becomes untrustworthy. Stress levels go up, confidence goes down, mistakes and failures happen and before you know it - your self esteem is battered and bruised.

Personal History

Life is full of pain. It is appropriate to cry when we feel pain. However, getting stuck in a place of pain is extremely unhealthy. When we go from recognizing that life is full of pain to thinking that life is pain we have come to a place where we need correction. Life also has it's joys, there are adventures to be had and love to be given and received. When our personal history seems like a path of constant failure and pain we need to re-evaluate our beliefs and core values.

 

Disciplining yourself to do what you know is right and importance, although difficult, is the highroad to pride, self-esteem, and personal satisfaction.

- Margaret Thatcher

Predeterminism

It is generally accepted that our personalities are partly innate (genetics) partly learned (psychological) and partly imposed (environment). The idea that you are a loser or a failure or whatever other negative description has been applied to you because of genetics, environment, or psychology is a falsehood. Just because you come from a long line of alcoholics does not mean that you have to be an alcoholic. Just because your family has been poverty stricken for generations doesn't mean that you can't succeed.

During your time on this planet it is going to be difficult to stay positive when the world around you is trying to pull you down. On the journey of life you need to have your luggage filled with the right equipment. Along the road you are going to get dirty, bumped, and bruised. Your first aid kit needs to have the most effective bandages and salves in it. When you learn how to build your self esteem you will be on the road to self improvement and personal growth. You will start to take responsibility for who you are and what you think. You will be able to take control of your life, you values, and your personal discipline.

How to Build Self Esteem From the Ground Up

Feeling good about you, having a healthy level of self esteem will help make you happier and more successful. Self esteem is a strength that you can call on when the going gets tough. It helps to make the hard decision, to stand your ground against opposition and negativity, and to overcome peer pressure. Here are some things you can do when you want to know how to build your self esteem:

Affirmations

Affirmations are statements that state what you want to be true of yourself. Hopefully they are positive and powerful. If you are creating affirmations correctly they will empower you and help you as you search out how to build self esteem. They will help you feel better about yourself and help you to value yourself in a positive light. Affirmations may take some time to take hold. More about this later...

Altruism

One of the fastest ways to make yourself feel better about yourself is to help someone else feel better about themselves. Start expressing gratitude and appreciation for the things you like about others. Try complimenting people - both people you know and people you don't know. Volunteer at a soup kitchen or visit shut-ins. There are thousands of ways to help others and to express altruism.

Catalog your Attributes

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. When our self esteem is low the majority of our thoughts are self depreciating. We run ourselves down and consider our abilities and attributes to be less valuable than they really are. Make a list of all the things you can do with ease and do well. Your strengths could include things like:

  • Kindness
  • Courage
  • Friendliness
  • Helpfulness
  • Creativity
  • Organization
    •

    Celebrate

    Give yourself permission to be please with the victories in your life. Fixing a computer, making a wonderful batch of cookies, getting the windows cleaned, clearing your desk of clutter. All these things are victories and you can take pleasure in a job well done. If you have certificates for courses taken or trophies for competitions you've won - display them. Be proud of who and what you are.

    Gratitude

    Remember the list above of how self esteem gets destroyed? One of the soul crushers is a lack of gratitude and appreciation. Start by being grateful for the things around you. Hate the commute? Be grateful that you have a car, be grateful you have a job. Hate your co-workers? Be grateful that you don't have to be like them, be grateful that you have the power to change. Hate making your lunch every day? Be grateful you have something to eat. Be grateful you have access to health care, access to education, to leisure activities, nice clothes. Try complimenting other people and watch how they react. Express appreciate for even the smallest things that they do for you.Give thanks. It will make you feel better.

    Positive thinking

    This exercise is the most important of all the directions on how to build positive self esteem. The reason is that self esteem is a matter of thought. As you think - so you are. Change your thought patterns into positive, healthy thoughts and your self esteem will be as strong as you dare to hope. It really is up to you. You are responsible for what you think. Think positive - be positive. Putting yourself down has produced results - do you like those results? Then stop putting yourself down!

    Relax

    Staying relaxed, calm and peaceful in general can help give you a good perspective on your situation and on your life. Being relaxed will also help you to have a better attitude towards those activities that you are obliged to do but aren't so good at. Take a few deep breaths, stretch, close your eyes for just a moment and focus on letting go. If you are chronically stressed you will benefit from leaning some relaxation techniques.

    Treat yourself well

    When you treat yourself with respect and honor who you are you will feel better about yourself. Here are some things you can do to treat yourself well:

  • Eat healthy
  • Exercise
  • Do something you've been procrastinating on
  • Use your talents and skills
  • Dress well
  • Reward yourself
  • Socialize with positive healthy people / avoid toxic persons
  • Learn something new or improve a skill you already have
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    How to Build Self Esteem from the Inside Out

    We mentioned above under the topics of affirmations and positive thinking what goes on in your mind determines who and what you are. Success in life comes from the inside out. Any attempt to impose a change from the outside in will only result in superficial and temporary change. How to build your self esteem the most effective way is to utilize the advances and discoveries that science and research have developed.

    Brainwave entrainment combined with affirmations will help you to create powerful, positive and effective new thought habits. In essence you can reprogram your mind. You can have the positive thoughts that the most confident, self secure people have. They can be yours in short order. Affirmations by themselves can take a considerable amount of time to take hold. When affirmations are combined with brainwave entrainment you can short cut the process and enjoy the benefits of healthy self-esteem in a short time. You owe it to yourself to investigate this proven technology today.

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