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Child Self Esteem

Child self esteem is a gift of immeasurable worth and value. A child may never grow up to realize the value of the gift of positive, healthy self esteem but for those who have grown up without it, and recognize the value of it, it has more value than any material possession that could possibly be given.

A healthy self esteem protects a child from the trials and problems they face out there in the world. Self esteem empowers a child to handle the conflicts they face in a positive way and it helps them to say 'no' to negative peer pressure. Kids with healthy self esteem are happier, they laugh, smile and joke around more. Their play is joyful and spontaneous. Kids with healthy self esteem are realistic about life and it's problems and tend to be more optimistic.

The opposite is true for kids with unhealthy, poor, low self esteem. Age appropriate problems that they should be able to overcome leave them stressed, frustrated, or angry. These kids have a hard time finding suitable solutions to their problems and challenges. Just like the adults, they turn into their self talk which is peppered with self critical, negative thoughts like "I'm no good", "I can't do anything right". These are the kids who become withdrawn and depressed as teenagers whose motto in life is "I can't".

Self Esteem

Self esteem is how we define ourselves. It is what we believe ourselves to be and how we gauge our worth and value. All these things affect our motivation, our behaviour, our attitude, and our emotional stability.

Child self esteem is started very early in life. Self esteem is developed in children the same way it is developed in adults. It happens when a goal or achievement is attained. For instance when a baby learns to roll over, sit up, or crawl - for them it is a major milestone and they experience a sense of accomplishment that is a positive deposit into their self esteem account. The victory of being able to bring spoon to mouth or take 3 steps after falling a hundred times teaches a child the process of success after persistence.

Every act of conscious learning requires the willingness to suffer an injury to one's self-esteem. That is why young children, before they are aware of their own self-importance, learn so easily.

- Thomas Szasz

When a child succeeds after repeated failures, he / she is creating a concept of his / her own abilities. At the same time these ideas are reinforced or destroyed by interaction with the people in their lives. This is why positive parental input is so incredibly important. It is through these early relationships that kids create their sense of worth and value, their child self esteem. An environment where a child can fail without feeling belittled, stupid or inadequate is a place where healthy self esteem can grown. An environment where a child can fail and still experience love is a place where healthy self esteem will blossom.

Parenting for child self esteem

As a parent you have god-like status in being able to bestow or withhold child self esteem. There are a number of things you can do to make sure the child you are responsible for develops in the most positive way possible. Here are some things that will make a big difference:

  • Love them
  • Where love is - good things grow. Love allows a child to try and fail and cheers when success eventually comes. Love doesn't prevent failure for failure is part of the process of learning healthy self esteem. Love guides, disciplines, and forgives.
  • Tell your child you love them - they need it. Hug them. Tell them you are proud of them when they accomplish something or make a big effort.
  • Watch your mouth
  • A child's mind is not anywhere near as discriminating as an adult's. Kids will take your words at face value, they have no reason to disbelieve or judge what you say with critical / logical thought processes.
  • Praise your child for success.
  • Praise your child for making a good effort. Always be truthful. Don't over do it, kids can tell when you mean it.
  • Model self esteem
  • Monkey see, monkey do. When you are harsh on yourself, pessimistic, or unrealistic with your expectations your child is going to copy you. Lead by example - model a positive self esteem for your child and they will copy you.
  • Give positive feed back
  • A comment like " I see that you're angry, but I appreciate your self control" is far better than "Why are you always blowing your top?" The latter type of comment may lead a child to believe that they have no control over the more powerful emotions.
  • Correct irrational beliefs
  • It is very important for parents to identify kids bizarre beliefs about themselves. Yes, they can come up with some really weird ideas. Talk to them about perfection, attractiveness, sports abilities, or academic abilities. Helping your children set accurate and realistic standards will help your child when he / she starts evaluating his / her own performance.
  • Bizarre beliefs in a child can take root and become reality for the child. For example a child might do well in every subject except spelling. They might conclude "I can't spell, I'm a lousy student, I'm stupid". Encourage your child to see the truth. A response might be "Hey! You're a good student, you just need a little help with your spelling. I'll help you with it."
  • Create a safe, nurturing environment in the home
  • A child who doesn't feel safe at home is going to struggle with low self esteem.
  • While it is good for children to see adults disagree and resolve an issue, constant fighting / yelling can cause withdrawal or worse in a child.
  • Respect your child.
  • Protect your child
  • Be alert to signs of abuse of any form from other children or adults. Problems at school, conflict with other kids (bullying), and other things may affect your child's self esteem.
  • Deal with these problems with care but don't delay.
  • Key to Self Esteem

    The real central key to developing a healthy sense of self worth -- child self esteem -- in a child is to have good self esteem yourself. It is tempting to think that now that you're an adult it is next to impossible to develop self esteem. Or perhaps you are the spouse who has good self esteem but your partner does not. What can be done? Can any significant changes be made. Absolutely.

    Most parents love and want the best for their child. If giving the best for a child means making some personal change most rational adults will agree to do it. Fortunately self esteem can be developed in a very effective, quick and permanent way. Here's how...

    Affirmations for Self Esteem

    This site is full of high value content that will show you how affirmations work, how entrainment works, and how brainwave entrainment can be combined with affirmations to produce the most effective, modern, scientifically backed self improvement technology available in the world today. Improve child self esteem by improving your own self esteem with AFRS Self Esteem development products.

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